Well, man, I cannot wait until this move is over…..
I guess you have heard me say that before. My anxiety is out of control, I cannot stand all the chaos and mess everywhere!! I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up when it is all over. Not only am I going crazy, but I am driving everyone else around me nuts. Well, everyone except A I am sure, as she has seemed to have fallen into her own little world, and is not giving me too much thought these days. I am not sure how much longer our friendship is going to go on without problems, at the rate she is going. She is making some VERY poor choices these days, and it is very hard for me to sit around with my mouth shut, and I am worried about it coming to a head at some point. I just hope it is not on moving day, that would be a hot mess. I am hoping that as time goes by, we just drift apart without a scene or any drama around it. I am not saying I do not wish to be her friend anymore, I am just saying that I have a hard time being around anyone making terrible choices, and do not wish to be part of it.
Now, back to my move. Going through my stuff has been quite interesting…..I have lived in my place for 15+ years, and I have SO MUCH STUFF. I mean, I am finding stuff that not only do I say, oh, I remember that, but I have plenty of stuff I do not ever remember even having! And, man, am I disorganized! Every place I open has the same stuff as the last two places, nothing is somewhere by itself. I have drawers in my bedroom that contain both clothes and books, lol. I have no idea. I used to actually be VERY organized but after I had a nervous breakdown in the summer of 2005, things have never been the same. To compound this problem, after that D2 and her kids both moved in, and there were way too many of us, living in a two bedroom apartment. The place got so packed, that you could not move, literally. The worse part is, I moved a few of my things into D2’s storage unit, and then when she fell off the wagon, and defaulted the payments, I lost some of my stuff, including an original sega system with about a hundred games….UGH….
So, after D2 and H (her oldest daughter) left here, I kept Z with me, and we have lived here ever since. But the place never got organized again. And so much stuff + disorganized = messy. Not dirty, but messy. I always say, my kitchen and bathroom are clean, but good luck finding the floor in the bedroom…there is just no room for anything, it’s terrible. So between moving to a bigger place, and downsizing what I own, it will be much better once we are all moved in. Plus I have A (provided she shows up) and my boss coming to help me organize the new place. They were both picked cuz they are very good at organizing……then I have 6-8 guys coming to move furniture and such. The idea is that me and the girls and kids will be in the new place unpacking and setting stuff up, at the same time the guys are moving the stuff down, and setting up things like blinds and the A/C units. I am hoping to be 90-95% done and settled in that same night. I have to be, cuz I have to know that by the next day, I am going to have life back to normal. I just keeping thinking in my head that by July 5th, my life will be normal. Or as normal as it gets for me anyway. And then July 7th will be the first day I look forward to being able to actually relax for a day, and right on time too, since Big Brother starts that night, so the perfect reward.... Then I have that first weekend off, to be able to just chill with my family. Life will be good. Then. Now, however, I am going nuts. I did not even bother to buy a lot of fresh food for this last two weeks when I went shopping, cuz I know we are gonna be eating a lot of take out and frozen crap until we are settled.
Man, I cannot wait for this to be over.
Unknown Sister
